It is indeed already 2008, looking back
and reminiscing about the past year...
Well... Shit happens. But of course,
come to think of it, the people whom I
hang around with so comfortably with
are actually the people that I have met
in the past year. Many thanks to Alan
and Desmond for their company and
the times they allow you to confide in
them.

Its been emotional, tiring and stressful
on everyone's part. Owing it greatly to
the shitty unit that we're in. Life as an
NSF couldn't get it any worse. One long
year have past, yet the all these dwelling
doesn't seem too decadent at all.

Sustaining an injury may seem like
striking a lottery for those NSF who envy
the non-physical taskings we're made to
do. All I can really say about that is two
big red words : SCREW OFF.

I can't play basketball like I did, I can't
bowl like I did, I can't go for jogs like I
did. I have to slog like I never did. I have
to be tolerant to sides I never picked.
I have to have loss hold of myself at times.

Thank goodness I still have my drawing
hands. Able to enjoy the little satisfaction
I get out of with every creation. Though
they may not be excellent, but they are
what I take pride in. Every time I begin
to thin out the graphite on my pencil
onto the bleached white paper, I forget
about everything that has happened.
I don't have to have complete a perfect
drawing, I don't have to agree with what
everyone's comment, and I certainly
don't have to force myself to produce
anything I do not like when I am drawing.

Drawing is my quiet, yet important
companion. We are not the best, and not
flawless, not demanding and not intolerant
of each other. We are one. If I day I
couldn't draw anymore, it is as good as I
perish.

For a person who has lost some of his
favourite pastimes to something he did
not commit himself to, he knows that it
is painful. For the ignorant, they can only
speak of it.

Here's what I have this week.
**Finally got my scanner to work again.
Hope it doesn't die out so quickly.

Here's a quick sketch of timbaland. Not
my usual meticulous detailing style. First
I mark out the proportions with a 2H
pencil. Then I just finished it off with just
a 2B pencil. added some colour in Photoshop.
That's all. About 2hours to sketch and
really no effort to colouring.

Wazzah!

Finally back in Singapore, I really missed
the things that I would define Singapore
with, and I am sure those who went for
Ex. Wallaby wouldn't beg to differ.
(images of local food such as Prata,
Bak Kut Teh, Rojak, You Cha Quay
keep popping by in my head)

There's actually too much to say about
the trip to Shoalwater Bay, Rockhampton,
perhaps I should leave elaboration of
this trip to later.(Things there are really
kinda expensive though.)

This post is not without a drawing!
And I have done this during my stay in
Camp Growl.



















Reference taken from a Men's Health
issue. The thing about drawing portraits
and figures, when others see you doing
it, they would prompt you to draw for
them, or to draw them. I am not sure
if I am ready to take a commission from
anyone at all. (like, should I put a price
tag on what I do for Hobby? Of course I
could use some extra cash... But
sometimes its not about the money,
can someone else describe this feeling for
me?) If I were to accept requests then
wouldn't I be busier than ever? :O

On top of that, if you are selective about
commissions, others who wants one as
well (but did not get it) would grumble.
Bleah. :/

I also would like to keep the pieces I
draw, in fact I haven't forgotten about
Junyang's girlfriend picture haha -
If only I could get it back as a scanned
copy for archives sake.

*hint hint-

Lol.

In just 2 to 3 days i will be outward bound.
This time, its not just a regular outfield
exercise that will end in a couple of days,
but i will be out in a remote area of
Eastern Australia, by Shoalwater Bay -
for a good long 5 (or maybe 6) weeks!

Apart from that, my existence here on
planet Earth has been really uneventful,
packing for this trip has left me with
little time to indulge with my own silly
thoughts. Actually, on that note, i did
question a little on 'how things work'.

I was queuing up for a free shuttle bus
service to NUH (National University
Hospital) as I had an appointment at
MMI, and so there was this 2 rows of
benches for people to sit as they await
for their ride. On that faithful day,
there was a bunch of teenagers who
were much younger than myself,
judging by their behaviour, several
things came to my mind; i.e how people
around me when I was their age used
to behave similarly, how things hasn't
change, how 'adults' view these teens
and how wasn't I able to see this,
how teens behave like no one else is
around them when they are in a
group. That's just besides the point
though, because as I was thinking
about these, something interesting
came to my head - How does
Courtesy work? When I was figuring
out those things in my head, some
seemingly "kiasu" aunties came to
sit along in the queue, just then the
bus came, and everyone in the queue
motioned off to the pick up/drop off
point. Everyone walked neatly in
an organized manner and occupied
seats on the shuttle bus.

Chio-to-ma-te! If you think about
it, someone from the back could
have just walked a little faster and
jumped the queue (in this case
the prime suspects would be the
"kiasu"-looking aunties) and no one
would have been able to stop them
unless they were to be very
particular about this, and to actually
practise corrective action - wouldn't
people just kept quiet about it
and sulk underneath their breath?
Normally that's what the majority
would do, unless its just me feeling
that way.

What surprises me is how such
orderly behaviour actually exudes
the primary essence of Courtesy,
and that no one tried to jump
the queue!

In the army, everyone jumps the
queue, in various ways. Asking a
friend to make the purchase for
you when his queue in the line is
already approaching the vendor,
or simply just try to cut in the
queue physically, pretending to
have something important to relay
to the guy in front of him and then
comfortably fit in the queue
regardless of how others at the
back of the queue may feel. I
thought of "how things work" once
again, and a few obvious reasons
came to my head - That they must
be too comfortable with the people
around them, or that they simply
do not care about the people
around them, or that they want to
throw around their swollen ego.
I tried to come up with more but
I can't help it but to just be content
with these as my answers.

Interesting huh. Lol

And so I have finally got my scanner
to work, I have 2 pieces that I have
sketched up with a black ballpoint
pen, and the first one is...




















Haha I purposely made is as though I
worked in a professional, ambient
environment, cool huh!

Heres the scanned original:





















I feel pretty excited about this one:

Its my first attempt at Anime Fanart!
For those who watch Bleach and Naruto
I tried to create a Vizard Sasuke with
his Sharigan on, lol.





















I really plan on colouring it, hopefully
after the trip for Exercise Wallaby
(yes Wallaby is apparently a name
of a kangaroo breed), when I have
more time, and when I feel more
comfortable using Painter/Photoshop
with a mouse.

I did try colouring it earlier on, but I
got too fed up with the mouse
and its inability to flow with pressure
sensitivity.

There were days where I worked off my ass,
and there were days whereby I just slacked
the day away. On that particular Thursday, I
was all alone at the Medical Post doing every
thing I knew how, on only a 2 hour charged
battery. The day started off bad as I fumbled
upon the task of finding Calamine Lotion. It
was my mistake, I did not look through every
single medication we brought - Instead, I
relied on my memory and looked for a cream
tube. Shish, little did I know that it was a bottle
this time round. ( I had dismissed the bottles
as Rub-ons. ) A series of blunders and a constant
flow of people coming into the medical post
seeking treatment just brought my morale
down even more. Then, I did something
deemed unforgivable, and that was to hand
the wrong drug to the Medical Officer. Gosh,
I wonder what I was thinking when I handed
over Piriton when he asked for
Dexthrometorphan, I couldn't even
remember why, but only to recall the
minimal notion of me picking up similar sized
tablets. Sigh. It sure was difficult running
the post alone, registering, treating,
prescribing etc... They all took a toll on my
spirit until I was given the opportunity to
send 2 patients back to mainland, to seek
treatment at Changi General Hospital. I
would have never guessed, the kind man
whom I later found out to be a Major General,
offered seats in the fastcraft to me, who at
that time was piggybacking 1 of the 2 who
sustained pretty bad foot injuries. That
sort of lifted my spirit up a notch. I mean,
its not every day you get to see someone
who bears the weight of 2 stars on either
sides of their shoulders.

Here's a piece I did as I got confined
for only acquiring 66 for my OJT test -




















Just another pen work, I would really
like to convert this into a digital painting
though. With only a mouse, I wouldn't
want to compromise anything..

I still can't believe that the stout short man
who dressed in such an uncle-ly manner
was a Major General. If I'd see him outside
I would have greeted him Uncle, haha.

That day I had dinner, I looked at her more
than I looked on my plate. As usual, she would
remove the bones off the fish and carefully peel
off the edible parts of the gilled, and un-hesitantly
place them on an unpopulated area of my plate.
However much I tried to reject it, I could only
allow her to gently place it on my plate, then do
the same back for her. This unconditional love is
without a doubt, something that my mother
would show for me. This intangible that I value
is the one that I will protect and cherish the most.

It amazes me how this simple action of selecting
good parts of the fish, and then giving it to
someone else actually says a thousand and one
other things other than "Eat more." A person
who gives up the last prawn for another who
hungers for it is likely to be a person whom you
acknowledge as Friend. A person who gives up
the last prawn after removing the shell to
another who hungers for it is likely to be a
person whom whom you consider much more
than a friend. As for Mother, she has done it
so many times for me, and only after an
enduring 19 years have I been able to notice
this at one glance. She has probably forgotten
how much she liked the good parts of the fish,
now that she considers the strands of flesh that
binds to the bone of the fish as her favourite.
I wonder if that's what she truly likes, or has
she changed her preference to suit mine?
The unrivalled power of love, and her devotion
disintegrated the armor of anger and
frustration crafted from the finest vex and
exasperation; I feel blessed as mirth lifted my
soul.

I can't help but to think that Mother has
changed her preference just to suit mine.
Grandma or Grandpa probably used to do
the same for her, and she's passing on the
baton. Such affection, something that is
exclusive to all living things that are capable
of procreating - will not be lost.

Being a sensitive person that I am, I actually
had to hold back tears as these thoughts raced
through my head. It pains me even to see
other beings mistreating their parents. Duly
unforgiving.

Moving on from being so emotional -




















Here's what I have been working on in the
past couple of weeks. I don't know how much
time I spent, as I did it during the scraps of
my free-time. Probably a total of 6-8
productive hours.

A picture from the back cover of a random
Maxim cover that was left in the cupboard
that was allocated to me in my bunk.

Done using 2H HB 2B and 4B.

(I still yearn for a tablet.) =(

It has been awhile since I have made a post,
owing that greatly to being confined.

Many things I have tried to squeeze into
the 48 hours that this weekend offers, I
realized that all these things have one thing
in common - That being to satisfy my own
wants and needs. Somehow or rather, I
just had to feel this way, I can't help but to
think that a much greater portion of this
time that I should cherish, should be spent
on family, something that NS deprives me
of. I then question myself; can I really
achieve equilibrium, or am I expecting too
much to ask.

Have had an interesting conversation with
Alan. What is the real purpose behind
punishing a person who have attempted
suicide? That incited much contemplation.
After revoking some implausible reasonings,
I have came to a conclusion that a country
like us cannot afford to have disdained
families. As such, family being the
elementary unit to the social fabric of any
society, is something that the country
cannot afford to overlook.

Reminded of that, I felt even worse.
Especially with

"..Its Times like these you learn to live
again, its Times like these you give and
give again.."

resonating in my head, I am guilty as
charged. With that, I am really
disappointed in myself. The urge to
make my parents happy have diminished
greatly, whereas conversely, it should
have been magnified - to make up for
the couple of days that I wasn't able
to be there.. Just to watch their
wrinkle-scarred, tired, weary faces
putting up a smile, and be reminded
that I am really fortunate to be their
son.

I am not very good at expressing
myself. Many a time there are
instances whereby so much is going
through in my head, but for what I
am able to convey verbally, my mouth
cannot keep up to what I think. This is
where the joy of drawing comes in.

And so, I have gotten myself Painter,
a program that allows you to paint
digitally. Now that I have spent a
handsome load on a PSP, I do not
think it would be soon before I get my
hands on a tablet. However, I have
had fun experimenting with the
program, and heres my first attempt!









Its really difficult to introduce intricate details
with a mouse. I will keep on trying though. =)

I hope that one day, I will be able to produce
something like this:












Just not sure when.

As I listen to my favourite songs I began
to muse for the utopia I never had.
My mind takes me to the paradise I
longed for, where I would be able to leave
everything behind, enjoy an
atmospheric ride in an ethereal void.
As I indulge in such imponderous
thoughts, I was interrupted by the
unconvincing sublimation of a
distorted reality, and realised that all
these are merely daydream. What a
trip it was, to a place that never
existed. I am sure many people out
there have had their own versions
of such desires.

On the hand, I am sure we have had
the weirdest nightmares that
originated out of nowhere and drives
us awake. Here's an image I have
had when I was back at SMTI.
(SAF Medical Training Institute)
I don't know, yeh, it may be a
rather cliched piece; but it just felt
so right when I drafted out this
piece on paper. (Yes it was kinda
inspired by 'Dawn of the Dead')
Maybe I have always wanted to
create some horror and macabre.



















I started out drafting out the linework
in pencil, then I drew the framework
with a ballpoint black pen. Finally,
I had the draft scanned into the
computer and then I coloured it with
photoshop. I wouldn't say its very
well done, but I must say it was fun! =D

And so, I was posted to an active unit. In any
case I should have guessed that long ago. Oh
well, now that its been confirmed, I can no
longer stay oblivious. Looks like I can kiss my
tablet good bye.

That's right, I now will belong to 41SAR -
As a platoon medic. I guess that isn't a
very desirable position to be in, I think
all you medics out there would know.
Don't think I have a choice on this one.

Quotes Alan, "NS makes all the decision
for you, isn't that great?" and I tell myself:
Maybe, depends what you get out of it.
What does it mean to be a platoon medic?
Do I have to assume responsibility over
everyone's safety? What if it was
compromised, what should I do?

I could already imagine the day when
someone collapses, and everyone stares
in my direction, waiting and expecting
the most informed decision to be made
by the medic. In that case, that would be
me! Shish, and what if I cause his condition
to deteriorate? I don't know if I can take
the training well. What if I don't? What if
I lack competence as a medic?

Sigh.

Well at least now I know it is rather
useless to be dwelling over that now.
I guess I will be shedding kilos off this
under worked body, hope you can still
remember this face after it goes through
elaborate 'chiongsua' (section movement,
battalion exercises, etc, and even ATEC.)








































This is the first time I have posted 2
versions of a single drawing. I kind of
liked both the effects that photo-shop
gave me, that's why this time we have
2. If you are into the media, the above
should resemble Hilary Swank. It was
a sketch from the poster of 'The Reaping'.

I admit the picture has accentuated her
masculine qualities, but I wouldn't say it
was on purpose, nor was it accidental.
After all, it wouldn't be fun to do an
exact replica isn't it. =/

So here's a rather positive comment from
me this week!

Q: What do you do when life throws a
lemon at you?
A: Make Lemonade, sell it, and buy
oranges, make orangeade, sell it, buy eggs,
make omelettes, sell them, buy a cow,
rear it, then chop it up and sell beef.
Buy more cows, rear them, and start a
farm. Sell the cows, sell the farm, get
lots of cash, buy a condo, resell the condo,
buy another condo, resell that condo,
use the profit and buy lots and lots of
lemons and throw back at life.

//Lol.

"...every man for himself." So the saying goes.
Well along with that line also comes "Who
cares about what they say," and "How does
that benefit me?"
As the course comes to an end, personalities
and characters have receded back to the
starting point - You don't know who is who
anymore; time seemed to have relapsed.

Maybe its just me, but the usual people
whom you thought to be respectable and
reputable have displayed sufficient acts of
vice to have me doubt their status. On the
contrary, people belonging to the
remaining minute fraction of the pie chart
are exuding veracious character worthy
of praise. I was surprised at how the
cognitive cohesion of a rather decent
group just eroded and faltered like flaking
rust.

Implicitly, I am not trying to be specific
here. The incident that resulted in this
soul-searching entry has reminded me
that human nature could just be like a
sheathed sword, when threatened it
strikes back blatantly at the opponents.
This applies to many real life scenarios.
As long as you are not careful, you may
have fallen bait to the deceit, disguise
enchanted sheath. In Simpler terms,
what you see is not what you get; do
not judge a book by its cover.

If you have read the above, it was a
message meant for myself - to serve as
a constant reminder that people are
such sophisticated, complicated,
conniving creatures. I find it hard to even
believe and trust myself sometimes.

If only I could just lay back and let go
of such arduous thoughts, and just
enjoy the little things in life that makes
a person smile - I only hope for that
day to come.


















(Doodle done in NS awhile back. Hair practice.)

Been feeling very Angst-ed up all over again.
Its not a great feeling, and it sure clouds my
vision. IV sessions haven't felt any worse as
well, what is going on lately? I wished I had
the answers. If I have been responding, or
have responded to you in anyway hostile, I
do seek forgiveness; otherwise, chill out
okay? =p

(The happy-go-lucky me will return with
a blast as soon as people realize that he is
appreciated.)

If anyone has a copy of God of War I they
are holding on to, and doesn't mind lending
it to me for awhile, I would like to borrow
it. =)

By the way, has anyone drank 'Whatever'?
Do tell me how it tastes like; 'Anything'
tasted just like 7up.

I will be booking in soon, so I guess this entry
will be concluded with a picture that I drew
awhile back.


















Drawn on watercolor paper, added color
using photo-shop. It isn't much, just a
mermaid statue.

>> Goes back to watch some
"starsky & hutch"dumbness again.

Hey, I have been offered the
NUS-Architecture course!
(My parents were happy as wah-lala.)
Now I probably don't have to
worry about Uni-admissions. =)

Another rather uneventful week
have passed, we are edging closer
to the completion of BMC (Basic
Medic Course that is). That could
either mean that I will be getting
myself a tablet to work with
(woot!) - OR - that I will have to
have myself undergoing an
intense physical phase as a
platoon medic. Such uncertainties,
only time will tell I suppose.
(Although I must say that they
are stupid and lame as well.)

So here's something for the week:


















Chinese character that reads 'sh-en',
meaning God, deity and equivalent.
The character was painstakingly
created using Photoshop a couple years
back.

(Yes, I do not have a religion, but that
does not mean I am an Atheist. Why
not adopt a religion? Simply because
I believe that God does not need a
religion to exist. =/ )

Oh well, what a crappy post, guess
I just have to make it up with my next.

Been a couple of weeks already, have yet to
hear from NUS - wondering how will
everything turn out to be. As the end of the
basic medic course draws nearer with each
passing day, anxiety builds up. Sometimes
I wished for some form of control in stuffs
like these. Can't wait to complete the course.

I kind of realized how much I (REALLY)
hate doing drills. I dont care if you pump me
for 200, run 10 laps, sign extras, there's
never a better punishment for me than
doing drills! (I hope I am not drunk,
drinking cognac + 7up.)

At this point of time, a tablet seems uber
appealing. Probably a good investment as
well; always wanted to paint, but found it
too much of a hassle to buy canvases and
paintbrushes... Cleaning up after a piece
is completed - Just maybe, a tablet would
answer to all these. I may just be
procrastinating, but if I were to end up with
a very busy posting, I might not be able to
fully utilize the purchase. Sigh. =/

So, here's yet another drawing. It was a
challenging piece as I had to figure out the
unusual contours as best as I could. Alvin
was of great help on this.



















And yeh, it was for the coursework. =Y

Atlas, we are entering combat phase of the basic
medic course. Sounds really tough and 'Chiongsua'
and such huh? Actually it isn't all that bad, what
is really bothering me the most is that we have
to attend all those stupid parade rehearsals.

I Really do not like to do Drills. As if i haven't have
enough of it already, it is such a meaningless,
energy-consuming, time-wasting chore and bore!

So much for complaints, here's something I'd
like to share with you people. =)
























So this is my A level final piece.. almost completed,
lacking some touch-ups. I do not have a photograph
of this piece at its completed stage, but i do have the
painting at home currently. =/
(Nothing much 'la'. Just touches to make the picture
a little more complete actually. Some bits and
pieces here and there.)

The final piece is a painting that I used to portray
how a blind man would feel; or at least, in the way
that I would "artistically interpret" it to be. Like the
O level piece, much elaboration is required to explain
the content of the painting. However, I guess I could
take some time into a little bit of elaboration =)
In short, I was playing around with the idea of
helplessness as he falls into a recurring spatial
conundrum. The Breaking blindfolded statue
somewhat symbolizes permanence of blindness;
and that the blind is trying a little too hard to
'break-out' of this shell. The window-like stuff
actually means something when you refer to the
"Braille" coding. Although I am not sure if they
were meant to be used in 'that' manner, but it was
the best I could manage without any help.
(You will know what I mean if you studied Braille
for a small bit)

Hopefully some time later I an post a more complete
photo.

Oh wait look, fishies! Lawl. =x















Don't know if you can see them, happy fishing!
(Please do not squint too hard. You can always
view the enlarged image.)
Will post again sometime later. Do enjoy your weekends.

Oh well, have to book in again, bugger.
And so I was browsing through some of
my pictures and such and i stumbled
upon my O level coursework final piece.
Nostalgia oh nostalgia. Bleah. =S

The project was an attempt to depict a
deaf person's desire to be "audio-able".
*Cough cough (lawl @ the term used.)

























Well of course all you are seeing is just
the final piece, much elaboration is
required if you want to know what the
painting is telling you.

I was kinda reminded of how much black
paint I had to use for this stupid 1.8mx2m
canvas as well. =O

I am not sure as to whether I have to be
present at the Interview on 2nd May.

Here's what was on the website:

"Kindly be informed that no applicants
are required to attend the interview
on 2nd May 2007, following the aptitude
test held on 29th April 2007. Thank you."

Weird huh? I will just adhere to those
whatever the website says then. o_o..

Anyway,

So here's for the day, a piece of research
that I made for the A level Drawing and
Painting Paper. The topic was Intrusion.

Go Figure!

Okay..

I apologize for not having enough time
to share with you what the Architecture
Aptitude Test was about. However, I
will still get on to it now. =p

Basically in 2 hours you have to answer
3 questions. Question 1, which was an
hour long, required us to create an
'Abstract Model' of how you would
interpret 'Lightness and Heaviness'.

Question2 and 3 took the remaining hour.
For question2, we were given 2 pictures,
and we had to describe the Quality of the
object presented in the picture using
only 5 Key Words. Question 3 was
rather interesting. We are required to
re-interpret the model that we created
in Question1, and somewhat transmute
the idea into an object/furniture that
functions as a seat for 1 or more persons.

Sounds interesting? I beg your pardon if
you are thinking no!

Not to mean any harm but there were
creations similar that of primary
school Arts and Craft project, on the
flip side, there were a handful that
managed to get a Stroke of Genius.

Considering the fact that I think of my
creation as one that of inferiority, still..
I wonder how I did! =p

So before hitting the sack, here's a
painting practice i did for my A Level
coursework. I kind of liked the colours,
though the fishes are rather weird. =T

The original piece was 'Coral Atoll' by
John Avon, a magic the gathering
artist that I admire.

Sigh. In just less than a day's time i will
be at NUS taking some aptitude test for
Architecture/Industrial Design.

Strangely i am not too excited about it,
nor that i am worrying. How would it be?

Perhaps I will keep you posted as to how
it went, just tomorrow before i book in -
Yet Again.

So wish me luck kay? =) Lawl

Until next time, heres a picture of how i looked
like just about nearly 2 years ago =)

Haha.

Gifted - to Julian

This was for Julian (right), a good friend and
section mate in BMT.

I'd say it was not well done, but still I had fun
drawing this piece.

I liked the way she looks,
and i wonder what she's looking at.
Don't you think so too?

I did this towards the end of BMT.
It was a small piece, spent about an hour plus on it.

(If i did not recall wrongly,
it was from a poster of 'blood diamond' )

Its been awhile since i had a blog.

Now its back again, i shall share some of my
creations with 'whoever-visits-this-blog'.








Isn't he cute?
Whatever. =p